I’m looking forward to my body shifting back into its pre-baby svelteness; however, regardless if this happens or not, I can already FEEL the difference emotionally. Much like others, I’m fairly certain I suffer from depression, but I refuse to chemically balance my body out to compensate for whatever may cause it. Sure, most of the time, you can find me looking fairly happy on the outside, but my brain can throw me into fatalism at the drop of a hat. Honestly, just a week or so ago I.wanted.to.die. Yes, I was that depressed.
Taking on this challenge has not only given me a goal, it’s de-cluttering my neuro-pathways. I’ve often said to people that even if exercise never changed the body’s shape, I’d do it because I know that it is good for me mentally. It’s so true. Think about it, when you do something good for you, you FEEL good. There are times that I do not have self-control; I LOVE to eat and I don’t like to think about what I’m putting into my body. I have on numerous occasions sat down with an entire bag of potato chips – a 6oz bag, mind you, – and didn’t stop eating until it was down to crumbs. “Whatever,” I would think, “Tomorrow is another day,” but then, tomorrow would come and I would feel so grossly disgusted with myself and vow never again (which wasn’t true).
I am reminded of a TV commercial where a gal is confronted with two food choices and it shows her side-by-side making the better food choice initially and how she makes the better choices for the rest of the day. I believe that’s true – one positive choice is the catalyst for other positive choices. This is what the challenge is doing for me. I CHOOSE to make the positive choice and in turn, my mind supports this.

Aubrey, I’m participating in the 30/30 too! I love your blog – yes, hooping really does de-clutter neuro-pathways! And I’m glad to commit to making positive choices with you. Not only is hooping a positive activity for us mentally, our hooping community is so lovely and positive, too. The 30/30 challenge allows us to support one another through our challenges and progress. I enjoy soaking it up! I’m glad that you are open about your depression – it can be such a taboo topic yet we’ve all been depressed at times. And when it takes over to the point of wanting to die, it can feel overwhelming. Sadly, I’ve had a family member die by suicide. So if you (or anyone reading this) find that depression is taking over, reach out to talk to someone http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 1-800-273-TALK. And keep hooping!
I have the distinct pleasure of knowing Aubrey and she is a beautiful person, an awesome hooper and incredible teacher…did I mention fabulous mom!!?! Thank you, Philo and hooping.org for binging her voice to this community! She is a positive example and role model! <3 ya