I’m looking forward to my body shifting back into its pre-baby svelteness; however, regardless if this happens or not, I can already FEEL the difference emotionally. Much like others, I’m fairly certain I suffer from depression, but I refuse to chemically balance my body out to compensate for whatever may cause it. Sure, most of the time, you can find me looking fairly happy on the outside, but my brain can throw me into fatalism at the drop of a hat. Honestly, just a week or so ago I.wanted.to.die. Yes, I was that depressed.
Taking on this challenge has not only given me a goal, it’s de-cluttering my neuro-pathways. I’ve often said to people that even if exercise never changed the body’s shape, I’d do it because I know that it is good for me mentally. It’s so true. Think about it, when you do something good for you, you FEEL good. There are times that I do not have self-control; I LOVE to eat and I don’t like to think about what I’m putting into my body. I have on numerous occasions sat down with an entire bag of potato chips – a 6oz bag, mind you, – and didn’t stop eating until it was down to crumbs. “Whatever,” I would think, “Tomorrow is another day,” but then, tomorrow would come and I would feel so grossly disgusted with myself and vow never again (which wasn’t true).
I am reminded of a TV commercial where a gal is confronted with two food choices and it shows her side-by-side making the better food choice initially and how she makes the better choices for the rest of the day. I believe that’s true – one positive choice is the catalyst for other positive choices. This is what the challenge is doing for me. I CHOOSE to make the positive choice and in turn, my mind supports this.